“Kim Kardashian is Gross” Says Entertainment Weekly

I got the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly today and saw this on the cover:

In their next issue, they speculate on how much of a drunk mess Lindsay Lohan is.

Why is it that EW is the only publication actually asking this question? She’s famous for a sex tape, she was married for like a week to Kris Humphries (Whom, I’m told is a basketball player of sorts, but no one cares about that. Let’s just get back to the juicy gossip part!), and I’m still pretty sure one of her sisters is part troll.

God, can you keep food out of your mouth for one second, you hideous beast?

So, for some slut who was troll blood in her, you’d think that she would be demonized by the media, but no. Kim is as famous as ever. But EW (their acronym is appropriately the sound you should make when you see a Kardashian) finally came through for the public and wrote an article on how gross Kim really is. I haven’t read it yet. But I can only hope that they reveal that Kim’s vagina is filled with sharp teeth, that her ass is a dick magnet that attracts men to their doom, or that she is in fact Armenian.

I would also like to point out how they worded the blurb on the cover: “Plus, How gross is Kim Kardashian?” It’s like they’re saying, “For real, on a scale of 1 to Ke$ha, how gross is she?” My guess is around 7-8, which is less that “2 girls, 1 cup” but higher than “mutilating the corpse of a rotting skunk with your bare hands.”

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. Happy Guy Fawkes day.

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