The Official Awesomesquad! Roster!

I’ve been meaning to write this for a long time now, seeing as though I cannot write an Awesomesquad! Assemble! Post under 3,000 words anymore. I just think it’s pointless for me to add the roster at the beginning of every post, especially where there’s 6 damn Awesomesquad posts so far. It’s pointless and annoying and a waste of space for anyone who has read any of the previous Awesomesquad! Assemble! posts before. Plus, this saves me a lot of time and hassle whenever I want to post and New Awesomesquad! blog. Plus, this makes it easy for anyone new to these posts to catch up relatively quickly. See? I am a goddamned Jeanious!

So here is my list of current and former members of Awesomesquad! For Each, I will explain what role they serve in my group, either showcase a video or describe their abilities in a short paragraph, A spoiler alert followed by their status as either “current” or “former”, and if they are a former member, a link to their last post. I would like to point out that it might not be the last post that they’re in, but timeline-wise, that one will be their final one. I will also briefly describe what character traits they each bring to the team.

In case you were wondering, Yes, I am writing this because I plan on posting another Awesomesquad! blog next week. We’ll meet new characters! And see the return of some old ones! Exclamation Points!

The away team: Team Pugnastics

Code Name- Lady Caggiano

How the leader found her- Knows her personally, Best friend

Role- Second in Command/ Creator of Baked Goods

Ability- First of all, she knows Tae Kwon Do, so she can kick some ass. Secondly, due to her motherly nature, she loves to bake and take care of people. This means that she will also help as a medic and be a morale booster.

Personality traits- Feminist, Liberal, intelligent, Catty. Despite being the morale booster, she is most likely to get into arguments with other people, especially if they’re conservative leaning. She also tends to start problems with the other females of the group, just to keep things interesting. Of course, these conflicts are always resolved when we meet one of our enemies


Status- Former Member

Code Name- Knifemaster

Well, see if I let you into my superhero club now, Jibbles. Fucking dick.

How the leader found him- Knows him personally, Best friend

Role- Second in Command/ Knife Master

Ability- Has an extensive knowledge of weapons and has the ability to scare the other team members into doing what he says, which is usually what I say.

Personality traits- Loyal, shithouse crazy. Usually, he is loyal and unquestioning to the authority figure (me) but still willing to call the leader out on bullshit if he feels that the group’s wellbeing may be in jeopardy.

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Damien Walters


How the leader found him- Internet

Role- Parkor/ gymnastics/ fight coach

Ability- This:

Personality traits- Strong willed, distinctly British, Usually but heads with the leader

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Everett Bradford

How the leader found him- Internet

Role- Weapons Technician

Ability- This:

Personality traits- intelligent , creative, Low key, Meek but quick witted in battle. He is usually intimidated by the other members of the group, but he is not afraid to stand up when one of them needs him.

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Jesse James

How the leader found him- TV, his show

Role- Vehicle builder/ Mechanic/ Driver

Ability- Monster Garage. Well, technically, he was only the host, but still…

Personality traits- Straightforward, Behind the times- Pop Culture-wise

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Criss Angel

Seriously, fix your hair. You look like an asshole.

Role- Mind Freak

How the leader found him-TV, his show

Ability- He’s magic:

Personality traits- Oblivious to the extent of his powers, almost famous so he has some doucebaggy qualities about him. He’s mostly the butt of jokes, but he takes it in good humor.

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Series of Japanese Symbols (usually called Steve)

How the leader found him-Internet, Stumbleupon

Role- Stealth/ Covert Ops expert

Ability- This:

Personality traits- Angry, hot headed, intelligent. He has a serious problem with Minigan because he thinks that Minigan is racist against Asians, even though it was Minigan’s idea to bring him on.

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Mr. Expendable

Such a shady character should be a perfect addition to my team!

How the leader found him- Knows him personally, Coworker

Role- Test subject/ standard fighter

Ability- can regenerate lost tissue quickly

Personality traits- up beat, loyal, willing to be the test subject, brave in battle

Status- Current Member

Code Name- Nut’n Fancy

How the leader found him- Internet, Best friend (turned Knifemaster) shows him videos of Nut’n Fancy shooting.

Role- Gun/ Ammunitions expert

Ability- He knows guns:

Personality traits- Extreme Conservative, outspoken, insanely loyal to the group even if he and Lady Caggiano argue all the damn time.

Status- Former member
The Home Team, Team Prevention/ Protection:
Code Name- Danica McKellar

I’d like to solve for her right angle with my hypotenuse.

How the leader found her- Internet, Probably a Cracked.com article

Role- Crime solver, and when needed, spy

Ability- Danica is a math genius. She uses her math whiz abilities to solve crimes. You know, just like that show Numb3rs. Plus, since she’s also an actress, she can infiltrate whatever organization we need her to.

Personality traits- Wildly intelligent and manipulative, a flirt, at times can be as catty as Lady Caggiano, loves to mess with everyone in the group.

Status- Current Member

Code Name- GMZ

Role- Hacker

How the leader found him- Internet- Found by Lady Caggiano

Ability- He is good at hacking. He once hacked into several prominent celebrities Twitter accounts.

Personality traits- Loner, intelligent, prefers the control room to the rest of the Awesomebase! He has a bit of a short temper, but it can be tamed with some good food, like Lady Caggiano’s baked goods.

Status- Current Member

Code Name-Phlegm

She actually killed that shark

Role-Team Psychologist

How the leader found her- knows her personally, best friend’s sister

Ability-it isn’t so much of an “ability” but she keeps every member of the team mentally stable. This is important, what with all the killing we do.

Personality Traits-sweet and caring, has a serious case of bloodlust. She has threatened Minigan on at least one occasion.

Status- Current Member.

Code Name- Derren Brown

Role-interrogator

How the leader found him- TV, his show

Ability-he’s a mentalist, so he is able to get people to talk people into telling him what they want. Here’s a video:

Personality Traits- A follower but does trick people into doing things for him, excellent speaker, intelligent

Status-Current Member

Code Name- Coco Montoya (Sean McCormick)

His eyes are dreamy in a “I’m going to rape you” kind of way

Role-Genetic scientist

How the leader found him- Knows him personally- coworker.

Ability- He has studied the Human Genome for years and has developed methods the alter a person’s genetic code to prevent sickness or give them superpowers.

Personality Traits-Hippy, abhors violence, nerdy, Intelligent


Status- Former Member

Code Name- Raul

Role- Maintenance man, occasional fighter for Team Pugnastics

How the Leader found him- He helped build the Awesomebase!

Ability- Knows guns and can shoot them well, also knows many different areas of construction and carpentry.

Personality traits- Loves women. He is easily distracted by them and, on occasion, has fought agaist Awesomesquad if they are battling against one. He is also a hard worker, and willing to help out however he can, mostly because Minigan wanted to keep him around after the Awesomebase! was built.

Spoiler Alert!

Status: Former Member

7 Comments

  1. […] The Official Awesomesquad! Roster! […]

  2. […] Zac Efron, the musician turned convict, Nick Jonas, the regular convict Mike Thompson, gymnast Damien Walters, weapons creator Everett Bradford, as well as the unknown Della Carver, Julie and Mark Lechliter, Paul Khoo, Brennen Crawford, Kevin […]

  3. […] have no idea what Awesomesquad! is, then welcome to my blog! I write about it a lot. Catch up on it here. For the rest of you, this is only the first half of what I was going to write, so hopefully next […]

  4. […] those of you who’ve never read an Awesomesquad! Assemble! post before, this post should bring you up to […]

  5. […] you’ve never read an Awesomesquad! post before, then you should probably check out the roster, But this is part 2 of a section, so you might just want to read Part 1 […]

  6. […] those of you wondering just what the flying hell Awesomesquad! is, this post should tell you everything you need to know. Beware, there are spoilers. Since this is Part Two, […]

  7. […] probably want some background info, whether you’re new or just need a refresher, so check this page out. It will give you the information you need about the […]


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