The Quest to Find My (Other) Doppelganger

As you may or may not know, earlier last year I met, kidnapped, and eventually went bowling with my doppleganger, Mike Thompson. Well, he’s in jail now (which is probably partially my fault, but let’s not get hung up on technicalities) so I’m saddened that I may never have another adventure with my doppelganger. Afterall, everyone knows that you only get one doppelganger, and once that one’s gone/ dead/ arrested because the police think he is you, you don’t get another one.
What’s that, universe? I’m so awesome that I deserve multiple doppelgangers? Are you sure that won’t upset The Balance? I deserve it? Well, OK….

"Here you go, Mr. Blackwood." -The Universe

“Here you go, Mr. Blackwood.” -The Universe

Last Wednesday, while I was talking with my dad on the phone, I heard my older sister loudly yell, “Is this Minigan?!” After discussing how I don’t remember hanging off of a building, so it probably wasn’t me, she directed me to The Chive where I saw the picture for myself. Holy shit. Is that me? I honestly don’t remember hanging off the side of a building, and none of those buildings in the background look familiar, but holy shit does that guy look like me. Sure, if I want to be nit-picky, there are some differences in our appearances; For instance, I am more muscular than him, and his nose looks kind of weird. But other than those two things, we look damn near identical.
So now comes the fun part: Where can I find this guy so that we can go on a bunch of crazy adventures together? My first guess as to the whereabouts of my twin was going to be Russia, since hanging off the sides of sky scrapers while shirtless seems exactly like something that would be a common occurrence up there. But this place looks warm, much warmer than the frigid hell that I assume Russia is. So this could possibly Eastern Europe, which has some of the bat-shit crazy remnants of Soviet occupation, with warmer weather. But I still wouldn’t rule out a place like Las Angeles or Miami, judging by how identical those buildings in the background are. I’m guessing that is an apartment complex, not a series of identically shaped ruins. Unfortunately, the buildings on the horizon are in too much of a haze to be recognizable (lending credit to the Las Angeles theory), so I cannot figure out the location based on the skyline.
However, I think a more important question is, “Who is this guy?” Now, my first reaction when I saw this was to challenge this twin of mine to a duel, defeat him, and eat his heart to gain his power. But that feeling of course is crazy. No one knows if that actually works. But I still want to know about this guy. What are is likes- other than hanging off the sides of sky scrapers? What are his dislikes-other than shirts (we clearly have something in common)? Does he do this often, or was this a onetime thing? Are these clearly awful people photographing him his shitty friends or just casual onlookers? Is this his only talent? Is it marketable? I want to know all these things. And I absolutely want to meet him so that I can get a picture with him. Then he could share it with his awful and uncaring friends, and I can share it with my regular uncaring friends. So if anyone has information on who or where this man is, please contact me here.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, my wonderful coworker Michelle (the one who I owe 200 punches to the boobs) wrote a flattering review of my blog. Support me by supporting her supporting me. Here’s the link:



  1. I don’t think he looks like you. I think he looks more like one of my other friends. Their faces look alike. Good luck finding him anyway. I’ll be on the lookout for someone hanging from a building who looks like you. I hope he turns out to the be evil twin and you end up defeating him somehow. Because if you turn out to be the evil twin I will feel sad for being tricked a fake friendship with you.

    • Oh no… I can’t edit my comment. I had a little typo there. I hope no one notices it. 😛 That was my first time posting on your blog I think. I haven’t done it in the past because I don’t trust 3rd party Facebook apps and what have you. But I will learn to trust them if they don’t annoy me or my friends.

    • Even if I was evil our friendship would be real!!!

      Also, it means that you probably have poor taste in friends. Sorry to let you know this way :/

      • Oh okay, I didn’t realize that evil people had real friends. And if you were evil I might not know it even if we were friends. Maybe I didn’t know that you were the one who was burning all those trees when we weren’t together. You would lie to me and say things like “how could someone do such a thing?” And I would be all like “I don’t know.” If only I knew who you really were, then I wouldn’t be your friend.

        I showed the guy who looks like this guy and another guy this photo of the guy hanging from the building. Both of those guys thinks that the guy looks like this guy. We had a good laugh over that. That guy who looks like the guy in the photo says he knows your brother, but not you.

      • Mike, I would like to assure you that I am not evil, but closer to chaotic neutral. As for your friend that looks like MY doppelgänger, maybe he is the person in the picture, and is evil and is trying to drive a wedge between us. That way he can sneak to my house, kill me dishonorably and eat my heart. Tell him that I will haunt the shit out of him if he does.

        Also, how does your friend know my brother?

      • You might be right. About everything.

        He hails from the same village as y’all. P-town. Is that a surprise to you? Considering the whole doppelganger thing?

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